These just popped into my snuzzbox. I can not confirm nor deny their validity. Don’t shoot the messenger. Yadda yadda yadda.
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
15. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
16. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
17. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
18. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
19. Dogs are not allowed in Nordstrom’s or Neiman-Marcus.
20. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
21. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
Ladies?
As a woman, I agree with some of these statements and can add a few of my own. Dogs don’t care if you get fat when you get older, dogs always like what you cook. I have 12 dogs, no husband and like it that way.
mommie’s cat version:
my cat likes to spoon
my cat doesn’t leave faxes in the bathroom
my cat doesn’t leave the toilet seat up
my cat’s breath smells better than my ex-husbands
my cat’s mom isn’t a hillbilly
my cat doesn’t leave clothes on the floor
Oh. My. F*****g. God. How sexist can you be???
Ugh. You’d know it was written by a man. Jesu Christi.
Ha Ha. I like these other versions so much I’m gonna add my own one.
My dog’s mother doesn’t think I’m not good enough for them.
My dog doesn’t snore. LOUDLY.
My dog doesn’t turn its nose up at what I feed them.
My dog won’t go off and play with another person behind my back.
I always know where my dog is.
My dog doesn’t care if I don’t wear make up.
My dog never has ” dog flu”.
Ha ha. xxx XD