A dog sent this to me. I have not tried it yet with Tailer. I am a little skeptical. But here you have it:
How to wash a cat:
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power-wash and rinse’.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Ed. note: This is, I do believe, a joke. Do not attempt this at home. ;-)
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
–One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
–Too many cheetahs.
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty puss.
For even more amazingly brilliant feline funnies, check out www.moggies.co.uk.
Flickr photo credit: Venom82
I found these snuzzy little reminders about why life as a dog is unbeatable over at MyTopDogs.com:
1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don’t even have to comb your own hair.
4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you’re cute.
6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.
9. It doesn’t take much to make you happy. You’re always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
After Mu Shue Pooh King Cat was injured as he heroically led his snuzzy little friends Lilly Lu and Iris to safety during a five alarm fire in his owner’s apartment building, Camie’s Kitties decided to organize a knock-knock joke fundraiser to help pay for vet bills.
Here’s one of my favorite entries, one heck of a truly snuzztastic knock-knock joke:
isabel workin? … i keep havin to knock!
If you’d like to make a donation to help out with Mu Shue’s vet bills, you can do so here.